it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You've changed since you got that strap on
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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