well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
