apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
