Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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