I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
