I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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