You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
