put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
