I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize