so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
