im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
