Please, let me fuck your mom
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
