I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
