i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
