I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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