Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
