What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
