sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
