And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
