Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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