why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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