he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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