It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
