I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
