Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
