I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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