woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
