I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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