My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
