I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
