is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
