It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
