i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
