They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
