everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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