You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
