would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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