thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
