So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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