Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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