i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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