our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
