some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
