I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize