just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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