Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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