I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
