I think scott just propositioned me for sex
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
