I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It was like giving head to a cactus.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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