did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
